Compassion is aimed at alleviating suffering—that of others or ourselves—and can be ferocious as well as tender. These two poles are represented by the dialectic of yin and yang. In traditional Chinese philosophy, these two seemingly opposite qualities– soft and hard, passive and active, feminine and masculine – are integrated in a non-dual manner, with the understanding that all people contain both essential energies. A metaphor for yin self-compassion is a mother tenderly comforting her crying child. We hold ourselves with love so we can heal our pain. The converse metaphor for yang self-compassion is that of a momma bear defending her cubs. When we tap into this fierce energy it gives us the strength and power needed to stand up and take action.
When most people think of self-compassion, they imagine its tender yin form. Yin self-compassion involves “being with” ourselves in a compassionate way. We comfort and soothe ourselves when in pain just we might do for a friend who is struggling. We give ourselves our own kind attention and care rather than cutting ourselves down with self-criticism. And we validate our pain, acknowledging that our suffering is worthy of attention. Fierce self-compassion involves taking action in the world to protect, provide and motivate ourselves to alleviate our suffering. It means saying “no” to others who are hurting us - drawing our boundaries firmly. Or saying no to our own harmful behaviors so that we can be safe and healthy. It means giving ourselves what we genuinely need mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually without subordinating our needs to those of others so we can be authentic and fulfilled. And it means motivating ourselves to reach our goals or make needed changes in our lives.
In order to be truly self-compassionate, in order to be whole, we need to integrate both yin and yang. If we are yin without yang, we risk becoming complacent or disempowered. If we are yang without yin, we risk of becoming hostile, selfish, or perfectionistic. Like a tree with a solid trunk and flexible branches, we need to stand strong while still embracing others as part of an interdependent whole. We need love in our hearts so we don’t perpetuate harm, but we need fierceness in our belly to stand up to harm.
This unique workshop will teach skills of both yin and yang self-compassion skills. In addition to learning theory and research on the topic, it will provide concrete practices drawn from the empirically supported Mindful Self-Compassion program for use in daily life. This course is relevant to practicing mental health professionals.
This workshop offers 6 CE hours.
There is no conflict of interest or commercial support for this program.